Me - Hello?
Friend - Cracky, what are you doing?
Me - Why'd you call me on the bat phone?
Friend - You didn't answer your cell, you don't work, so I figured you were home
Me - Oh yea, my hands were full, I'm arranging flowers, you gotta change the water every three days
Friend - Wha??
Me - Ya I have a thing for white boys (shakes head) I mean white oriental lillies, lately. Did you know if you pull the little pollen things of as soon as they open they just come right off without making a mess?
Friend - Uhh no, I didn't. Listen! What are you doing...
Me - Uh hold on gettin a text msg
Beat...
Me - umm ok
Friend - Who was that?
Me - Jesus text
Friend - What the hell is that noise in the background?
Me - Dogs... and Derek and the Dominoes
Friend - Wha??
Me - I just got back from a walk on the beach, didn't feel like seeing Mastectomy scars this morning
Friend - Wha??
Me - I workout at the YMCA duh...
Friend - OMG
Me - Sunday is Father's Day
Friend - Ya, what are you doing?
Me - Fornicating. Hopefully...
Friend - Uhh k.
Me - You wanna go have Bellinis
Friend - Ya, k. Listen!
Me - I am
Friend - Are you drunk?
Me - No... I told you, I went for a walk on the beach, dropped some stuff off at Goodwill, got some Iced Coffee at Peet's and I'm arranging flowers and hand washing some laundry before my laser hair removal appointment.
Friend - Hand washing? It's only 11
Me - I know what time it is. You have to hand wash Kain Label shirts. Remember that sample sale? I bought seven of them...
Friend - Laser hair...
Me - Ya what did you want? I have a conference call soon, and I want to make veggie juice before that
Friend - I'm so confused
Me - Well, get your life together
Friend - Crap my boss is coming, I'll ask ya later
Me - Bye Crispy
Just breathe... in the scent of Lavender
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