onions+garlic

I've MOVED

2009-08-09T15:23:00.000-07:00

Onions + Garlic has Moved http://oignonsetail.wordpress.com/

PLEASE RESET YOUR RSS FEEDS

Josh Keyes Paintings

2009-08-09T14:39:00.000-07:00

Here Comes Trouble...

2009-08-09T14:29:00.001-07:00

Queens of the Stone Age - Go With the Flow

2009-08-09T14:25:00.000-07:00

She said "i'll throw myself away,
They're just photos after all"
I can't make you hang around.
I can't wash you off my skin.
Outside the frame, is what we're leaving out
You won't remember anyway
I can go with the flow
Don't say it doesn't matter (with the flow) matter anymore
I can go with the flow (I can go)
Do you believe it in your head?
It's so safe to play along
Little soldiers in a row
Falling in and out of love
Something sweet to throw away.
I want something good to die for
To make it beautiful to live.
I want a new mistake, lose is more than hesitate.
Do you believe it in your head?
I can go with the flow
Don't say it doesn't matter (with the flow) matter anymore
I can go with the flow (I can go)
Do you believe it in your head? X3

I Love Me Some Stripes -- Lou

2009-08-08T18:45:00.001-07:00

I Hate THAT Feeling

2009-08-08T18:17:00.000-07:00

You know the feeling. That you trusted him, gave some of yourself to him, thought he was a certain way and appreciated him for that, then a slap in the face. You were wrong......

Even the master receives a swift kick to the heart sometimes.

When you know you're never going to hear from him again.

Maybe he initiated the end maybe I did (for the record, it was me this time). Either way I know it's over.

I delete his phone number, PIN, email address all messages and emails.... Any remnant that I may innocently stumble upon.

Even if it wasn't that long of an interaction (I hate using the word relationship in any form) that first day that I realize I'm never going to hear from him again.... Hurts like hell. I can't think about anything else, wish I could sleep and crave fatty foods. Fuck my life.

I lie in my bed, the scent of lavender prominently wafting from my body... My lame attempt at relaxing myself. And every time I look down at my body I think of him.

The fact that I have a fresh mani/pedi that he's not here to appreciate, my sexy little boxers that he's not here to appreciate, my wife beater with no bra that he's not here to appreciate.

I just cry.

And depending on how long the interaction was, my heartbroken symptoms last from 2 days to a month.

All the while thinking "I was just fine and why did it have to end like THIS?"

It fucking sucks. I hate it.

Yet, when it's over.... I throw myself back into the dating pool. Try my best to remain un-jaded and start the whole damn process over again.

Woodstock Handmade Houses

2009-08-08T15:20:00.000-07:00

I Want Fall NOW!

2009-08-08T14:36:00.001-07:00

When to Dump a Boy

2009-08-08T09:59:00.000-07:00

PAY ATTENTION MY LOVE, CAUSE IT'S OVER

I'll let you know how to dump a fishy in another post. That's fo sho a whole other topic.

You should dump a boy at the first signs of irreversible *bitchassness aka symptoms. Don't crucify yourself it's neither attractive or healthy for you. The second you see terminal illness like symptoms in the beginnings of a relationship bring them to his attention.

EXAMPLES: (yes, unfortunately for me but fortunately for YOU these are all from personal experience)

- You're talking on the phone... He says he's somewhere elsewhere than home however; you here his smoke detector beeping in the background... Ya the smoke detector you've told him needs to have its batteries placed. Yep uh huh. He's lying about stupid ish, who knows what he's attempting to cover. The reality is if he will lie about something so small he has the propensity to have the DEA bust in one day, while you're making a Sunday morning frittata.

- He's chatty cathy Mon-Thurs... He's all up in your business during the week, Texting, BBMing, Emailing, even calling. "How was your day?", "What'd you have for lunch?" etc But come mid-day Friday you don't receive your usual "And how's your day going?" text. I'm here to tell you he's got a major case of bitchassness. He enjoys your company; but, he's not ready to sacrifice any time with his Bros yet. In the early stages, if he can't take you out on a Friday or Saturday night, he's not interested in dating. No reflection on you, the boy is conflicted. Let him know that you know he's addicted to his bromance, and get dump him.

- You meet his closest friends and they're all LOSERS i.e. Friend #1 is so excited that his mail order bride is almost here, Friend #2 has an M.F.A. but is trying to be an actor is over 30 and has been a waiter at 10 different restaurants in the past year, Friend #3 is a lush over 30 wannabe rock musician... Okay so his closest friends are all losers, you think your fishy isn't??? When's the last time you've seen Flavor Flav and Bill Gates out to dinner. And okay I'll give you the benefit of a doubt... Maybe your fishy isn't a loser (cough cough) do you really wanna hang with Flavor Flav??

* Definition of bitchassness - Term coined by Diddy on Making the Band. Overall stank actions towards others through words, facial expressions, and/or song. Symptoms include: thinking your better than those around you, not speaking your true feelings, throwing large amounts of shade.

Come As You Are | Abbey Lee Kershaw & Catherine McNeil for Vogue Australia’s 50th Anniversary Issue

2009-08-07T20:46:00.000-07:00

Keef Hartley Band - Halfbreed - Leavin' Trunk

2009-08-07T20:43:00.001-07:00

Sophie Vlaming in Elle UK September

2009-08-07T20:39:00.000-07:00

Geek Chic

2009-08-07T20:38:00.001-07:00

Iekeliene Stange & Elsa Sylvan by Dusan Reljin

2009-08-07T20:36:00.001-07:00

Iekeliene Stange & Elsa Sylvan by Dusan Reljin

The Summer is Winding Down

2009-08-07T16:09:00.001-07:00

Johnny Depp + Kate Moss

2009-08-07T16:07:00.001-07:00

bourgeois boheme....

2009-08-07T16:06:00.001-07:00

Rihanna Has No Booty?!?!

2009-08-07T15:58:00.001-07:00

WTH?

Follow ME on Twitter

2009-08-07T15:55:00.000-07:00

Looks Like a Fun Party

2009-08-07T15:51:00.001-07:00

Denim Suite -- The Right Way

2009-08-07T15:50:00.001-07:00

I'm Seeing this Look More and More

2009-08-07T15:48:00.000-07:00

I kinda think it could work, leggings or tights under cutoffs for fall.... Am I crazy? Let a Sista know....

I Want Fall NOW! - Isabel Marant

2009-08-07T15:35:00.000-07:00

When Should I Have Sex with the Boy?

2009-08-07T15:31:00.001-07:00

All right ladies... We've all done it waaay too early. But the reality is any length of time may be fine; but, first you need to discuss the following things:

-What should I expect from you the following day?
-What should I expect from you the week after?
-How long do you think we will be interacting with each other?

Now of course, this is besides the obvious Have you been tested recently?

If you're willing to ask these questions of the fishy, you guys aren't ready to have sex and/or YOU aren't interested in a mature sexual relationship. End of point.

And that's fine, if you want to hook up, have a jumpoff on call, whatever... All goodie. Just be safe, and don't be delusional about it.

Sometimes I Just Need a Moment

2009-08-07T15:28:00.001-07:00

Kate Bosworth

2009-08-07T15:27:00.001-07:00

Naptime

2009-08-07T15:25:00.001-07:00

Nothing Better than Girly Tatts and Chunky Jewels

2009-08-07T15:11:00.001-07:00

You Went Shopping?

2009-08-07T15:09:00.000-07:00

Alexander Wang Frankie Creeper

2009-08-07T15:06:00.001-07:00

Low Calorie Red Velvet Cupcake Recipe

2009-08-07T14:47:00.000-07:00

I LOOOOOOVE cupcakes. Especially yummy ones under 200 calories, totally snackable :o

Note: Adapted from "Hungry Girl: 200 Under 200: 200 Recipes Under 200 Calories" by Lisa Lillien. Lillien writes, "You'd have to be insane to not flip over these brightly colored little cakes."

Frosting

6 tablespoons Jet-Puffed Marshmallow Creme

1/4 cup fat-free cream cheese, at room temperature

1 tablespoon granulated Splenda No Calorie Sweetener

6 tablespoons Cool Whip Free, thawed

In a medium mixing bowl, combine the marshmallow creme, cream cheese and sweetener and mix well. Fold in the Cool Whip and refrigerate, covered, until the cupcakes are ready to be frosted. This makes about two-thirds cup frosting.

Cupcakes and assembly

1/4 cup mini semi-sweet chocolate chips, divided

2 (25-calorie) packets diet hot cocoa mix

1/2 cup boiling water

1 cup cold water

1 cup moist-style devil's food cake mix ( 1/4 of an 18.25-ounce box)

1 cup moist-style yellow cake mix ( 1/4 of an 18.25-ounce box)

1/2 cup fat-free liquid egg substitute

1 tablespoon red food coloring

1 teaspoon granulated Splenda No Calorie Sweetener

1/8 teaspoon salt

Nonstick cooking spray, optional

Frosting

1. Heat the oven to 350 degrees.

2. In a tall glass, place half of the mini chocolate chips and the contents of both cocoa packets. Add the boiling water and stir until the chips and cocoa mix have dissolved. Add the cold water and mix well.

3. Pour the cocoa mixture into a large mixing bowl. Add the cake mixes, egg substitute, remaining chocolate chips, food coloring, sweetener and salt. Whisk until smooth and blended, about 2 minutes. The batter will be thin, but don't worry -- your cupcakes will puff up once baked!

4. Line a 12-cup muffin pan with baking cups or spray with nonstick spray. Evenly distribute the batter among the cups. Bake in the oven until puffed and shiny and the cakes spring back lightly when touched, 15 to 20 minutes.

5. Cool the cupcakes completely, then evenly distribute the frosting over the tops.

Each cupcake: 149 calories; 4 grams protein; 25 grams carbohydrates; 1 gram fiber; 4 grams fat; 2 grams saturated fat; 3 mg. cholesterol; 262 mg. sodium.

via LA TIMES

I Think I Need a Swatch Watch

2009-08-07T14:28:00.000-07:00

At an average of $55.00 a pop... In my little dreamworld I could stack 'em on like bangles, fulfill my bohemian need for time in various places in check.

One for Japan called Enigmatic Love - The fishy is on a 3 week work trip

One for Los Angeles called Zen Wink - I'm here in body and mind most of the time

One for NYC called Times Square - So many of my peeps are there....

She's Killin it... Yea. The One in the Coral

2009-08-07T14:20:00.000-07:00

And how fashionista psychic of me! Yesterday I had my nails painted Cajun Shrimp by OPI. I'm killin, undercover sexy style...

Hot or Not? Ashish's peep-toe boots

2009-08-07T14:18:00.000-07:00

Hot or Not? Let me know....

Being Kinda Bad is So Good

2009-08-06T17:51:00.000-07:00

Red Nails and Red Lipstick

2009-08-06T17:49:00.001-07:00

We Girls Are Totally Made of Sugar and Spice

2009-08-06T17:42:00.000-07:00

How To Be Nice to A Boy

2009-08-06T17:19:00.000-07:00

I know it's hard, most of them are assholes. But so are a lot of chicks. Once you get a hold of a good fishy, don't eff it up by being a controlling, suspicious bitch. I know it's hard, we're all a bit jaded; but, seriously take a step back, evaluate the situation... And if he's a good fishy who's puttin in work, I firmly believe in rewarding him.

-- Make him some pasta sauce and put it in a container, give it to him, he can quickly make himself something moderately healthy to eat on a couple of nights during the week.

-- Send him pictures of yourself in some sexy lingerie, use your camera phone, don't include your face just your hot bod. They're not incriminating, there's no face, get over yourself.

-- Send him a sweet text message on a day you know may be hard for him, in the message let him know he doesn't necessarily need to get back to you, you just wanted to send your well wishes.

-- If you all have just gotten home from a nice date on a Fri or Sat night, and are sittin on the couch flipping through the channels, having a drink, let the boy watch Sportscenter... He deserves it, it's not going to kill you to let him catch the sports news of the day.

I Need to Get My Groove Back

2009-08-06T17:18:00.001-07:00

Girl Talk -- Post Walk of Shame

2009-08-06T17:00:00.000-07:00

ME: Haaaaay! Heard ya come in THIS morning. How'd it go?

ROOMMATE: Mmmmm it's not what you think.

ME: Uhhh I'm confused, ya look all tousled and you came home at 7:00 am.

ROOMMATE: Things often are not as they appear my dear.

ME: (plopping down on her bed and stretching out) shit... what happened?

ROOMMATE: Well, we went to dinner, then he took me to a cupcake shop, he had to run actually to their door, they were about to close it was really romantic (sighs)

ME: K; but, then what happened?

ROOMMATE: We got back to his place, had some wine, things were cool.

ME: Ya and?

ROOMMATE: Well, we finally did it.

ME: K, I feel like this is worse than just a "he was horrible" type problem....

ROOMMATE: Yea it is.

ME: You're killing me!!!

ROOMMATE: I had to spoon him after sex.

ME: Huh?

ROOMMATE: He went to the bathroom to throw away the condom and I was lying in his bed on my side...

ME: K

ROOMMATE: He got into the bed on his side and backed into me in the fetal position.

ME: So YOU spooned him after sex

ROOMMATE: Uh huh

ME: OMG

ROOMMATE: I know... I think I'm going to throw up

ME: You should and then you text message him and tell him you want to date someone who wants a girlfriend not a Mommy.

ROOMMATE: You're so mean...

ME: Well, do you want a 38 year old son? Doesn't even make any sense, you're 26, he's disgusting, get rid of him.

Follow Me on Twitter

2009-08-06T16:39:00.000-07:00

How Do You Feel About Men Wearing Harem Pants?

2009-08-06T16:36:00.000-07:00

Straight men at that... That makes things kinda different. I have a very fashion forward straight friend, who saw me in mine and told me he'd recently been contemplating buying a pair for himself; but, was worried about how that would go over. I told him I was on the fence...

While this guy definitely pulls the look off, beard included, I just don't know how comfortable most guys would be walking down the street rocking this look, and being comfortable in your own skin/clothes is most imperative here...

What's the verdict?

Best Ad Campaign this Season

2009-08-05T21:48:00.001-07:00

Kate Moss Lookin So Fresh and So Clean

2009-08-05T21:24:00.001-07:00

New Free People Clothing I Love

2009-08-05T21:05:00.000-07:00

Sateen Blazer

$108.00

Woven Solid Romper

$108.00

Colors Available:

Blank Distressed Skinny Cord

$78.00

Colors Available:

Boyfriend Woolie Jacket

$168.00

Colors Available:

Crinkled Zipper Front Dress

$128.00

Colors Available:

Dynasty Shift Dress

$108.00

Colors Available:

Merrie's Button Down Plaid Top

$88.00

Communal Living

2009-08-05T20:47:00.000-07:00

Check out Keep Feeling Fascination for the full story... Adore these photos.

via Keep Feeling Fascination

Catherine Baba

2009-08-05T20:33:00.000-07:00

Talk about being a character and developing your own uniform/sense of style. Catherine Baba has totally got it down. Love her.

DIY Chanel

2009-08-05T20:27:00.001-07:00

via Jak + Jil

I'm Disappointed in Chloë Sevigny

2009-08-05T20:02:00.001-07:00

I mean it's leather... And it's August. Is this acceptable? Not in my mind... What's the verdict?

Becka Diamond

2009-08-05T19:57:00.001-07:00

Love her bad girl style and diamond tattoo.

Lara Bohinc

2009-08-05T19:53:00.001-07:00

Fabiola Beracasa and Rachel Zoe

2009-08-05T19:50:00.001-07:00

Kareena Zerefos Illustrations

2009-08-05T19:28:00.000-07:00

What to Wear to the Club....

2009-08-05T16:42:00.000-07:00

Apparently, not this getup... So you know what that means? I'm not going. It's hottt in LA right now, everyone is frisky, it's warm and beautiful at night... probably hot and lonesome inside your place. Sooo, I'm often faced with the dilemma of wearing something comfortable to have a couple of cocktails in or getting "gussied up" to go talk to some lame stragglers at Playhouse (and the like) who lease some stupid black sports car; but, still live in an apartment (or with 5 roommates in Hollywood Hills) on the raunchy side of LA.

I'd rather wear my PRPS jeans, a Hanes wife beater, comfy Born wedges, various necklaces, a vintage belt from a Palm Springs thrift store and my beloved Free People bag (they give it to you when you buy stuff in the store!!) and just go to MILK for a Root Beer float...

Jill Lin Illustrations

2009-08-05T16:12:00.001-07:00

How Hot is Aïssa Maïga?

2009-08-05T15:53:00.000-07:00

Super duper, scorching hot!

Gwen Stefani shot by Lorenzo Agius

2009-08-05T15:31:00.000-07:00

What to Do When You're Unemployed

2009-08-05T14:42:00.000-07:00

IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER

- update your résumé the second you're laid off, fired, wtf. Your duties and accomplishments will be fresh in your mind.

- file for unemployment

- revamp your household budget, cut out unnecessary things (dining out, car washes, shopping for clothing)

- post your new résumé anywhere and everywhere you can think of

- take a chill pill!!! given the current state of the U.S. you're not alone, don't feel bad and realize that hundreds of people are applying for the same positions you will be

- consider yourself funemployed... get used to spending time at home, figure out what programs you like to watch on tv. start taking pleasure in the simple things in life (farmers markets, riding your bike, donation based yoga classes, reading blogs, spending time outside)

Super Models Enter Rehab by Steven Meisel for Vogue Italia July 2007

2009-08-05T14:17:00.000-07:00

Agyness Deyn, Denisa Dvorakova, Guinevere van Seenus, Irina Kulikova, Iselin Steiro, Lara Stone, Masha Tyelna, Missy Rayder, Sasha Pivovarova, Tasha Tilberg

You Know How I Feel About Joy Bryant ...

2009-08-05T13:49:00.001-07:00

Qualifying a Fishy

2009-08-05T13:09:00.000-07:00

(don't date this guy, I'm sure he'd be a lot of fun and all... he's a millionfish (guppy), I'll get to them later)

Just a few basic rules that apply to any guy, any demographic, any locale.... My rules aren't part of the norm, YOU are going to need to do some light investigative work...

Rule #1 If he doesn't wear a collared shirt polo, button down doesn't matter if it's short or long sleeve etc on the FIRST date, ditch him. He's disrespectful, his Mama didn't teach him basic manners, and it's not your job to do it now.

My #2 rule used to be that he must have a job, but given the current state of the US lots of peeps are out of work. So now #2 is he must have health insurance. Not having health insurance is just plain irresponsible and unacceptable. He's gotta have at least Kaiser, everyone can afford that. He's gross if he's not gettin a physical exam every year. End of story, no excuses.

#3 he's gotta have coordinated sheets and a down comforter. No mismatched sheets with mismatched pillowcases. We're adults that's ridiculous and get a damn down comforter while you're at it. You can get one at TJ Maxx, Ross or Marshalls for less than $75.00. Get with the program...

#4 his shower head needs to work properly. If it's full of sediment and only spouts out two little streams of water, ditch him, he's not clean, nor does he care to be.

(just plain "ol gratuitous)

#5 kinda goes with #4 if he still uses bar soap, he's primitive. He needs to be part of the body wash revolution....

#6 If he drinks Mai Tais, Margaritas, or Mike's Hard Lemonade type drinks on a regular basis, he's stuck in the 9th grade, delete his phone number.

(look closely, he has on a collared shirt, this totally counts, he's okay, thus far)

And that's basically it.... Follow my 6 golden rules and he's qualified as good on paper. Now I'm not saying he's going to act like he has some sense; but, he's at least good on paper.

For more rapid fire fishy anecdotes... follow me on TWITTER. Yes... Someone has converted me.

Awwww the 60's

2009-08-04T20:02:00.000-07:00

Christine Keeler, David Bailey, Penelope Tree, Marianne Faithfull

Elle Macpherson Lingerie...

2009-08-04T19:35:00.000-07:00

My love for Elle Macpherson is deep. So deep that I often try on her lingerie even though it's kinda pricey and doesn't generally fit my large "bubbies." However, on a recent shopping spree at Loehmann's they had a new shipment in of her stuff, and I found something that fit, was priced well and it's just plain hot. Good for the fishbowl!!

The set was is from her Boudoir collection, the bra comes down pretty far on the sides and under your "bubbies" very Bettie Page-esque.

The little tap pants are really to die for, lacy in the front, with slits up each thigh... I can't wait. For the occasion, I think I'm going to have my nails and toes painted a really pretty coral... to kinda match the detail stitching and buttons, what do you think?

Love this Picture of Cher

2009-08-04T19:21:00.001-07:00

Jewel - Who Will Save Your Soul

2009-08-04T19:17:00.000-07:00

I've Got Mad Love for Hermès

2009-08-03T21:06:00.000-07:00

Gangsta --- Helmut Lang Photo

2009-08-03T20:48:00.000-07:00

I Think I Need this Bag

2009-08-03T20:44:00.000-07:00

Kate Moss in Alexander McQueen

2009-08-03T20:20:00.000-07:00

In my utopian dream world... I'd wear this dress to a very cute fishy's holiday party, which would be filled with interesting, chic peeps to talk to.

Yes, I'm already thinking about what to wear to holiday parties. It's almost, about that time :)

Where in the World is Gemma Ward?

2009-08-03T19:55:00.000-07:00

Publication: Vogue Italia November 2007 / Photographer: Greg Kadel / Fashion Editor: Giovanna Battaglia / Model: Gemma Ward

Georgia May Jagger

2009-08-03T19:49:00.001-07:00

OMG, I love all of this.... The hair, the nails and lipstick, the outfits. PERFECTION

Sienna Miller in Loewe Spring/Summer 2009

2009-08-03T19:46:00.001-07:00

Stretching is Good for You

2009-08-03T19:43:00.001-07:00

And the fishy will appreciate your limberness ( I think I just made a word up)

Fashionable Plus Size Clothing

2009-08-03T19:26:00.000-07:00

Shouldn't even be called plus size clothing... Should be called real or typical women clothing that's not ugly as f**k.

Anyways, I love Marisota. Why? Because they're a one stop shop, clothing, accessories, lingerie, footwear and swim and athletic wear, and a BLOG. Check em out.

Curvy till I die ;) real fishys like it.

Bill Ward Illustration

2009-08-03T19:08:00.000-07:00

(Above) “When I asked for a divorce, I told him I only wanted one thing -- everything!”

BILL WARD (American, 1919-1998)
Men’s magazine cartoon illustration, 1963
Mixed-media on paper
23 x 15.5 in.
Signed lower left

The Rainshine House

2009-08-03T18:53:00.000-07:00

I'd love to fill this house with comfy non-modern furnishings... A mix of monochromatic Baroque, Shabby Chic and well maybe a lil modern Armani Casa.

500-gallon rainwater harvest cisterns;
Butterfly roof designed to collect rainwater;
Locally-sourced, 100% recycled steel framing roof;
Water-based insulation materials;
Reclaimed heart-pine flooring;
Energy recovery ventilator (for tight homes);
Low solar heat gain coefficient windows;
Abundant interior natural light;
LED lighting system;
Geothermal heat pump;
3.1 kW rooftop, photovoltaic system; and
Deciduous plantings to provide efficiency benefits.

Candy Chang - Sidewalk Psychiatry

2009-08-03T18:37:00.000-07:00

Simple, yet thought provoking.... Just the way I like things to be.

Ohhhh MJ

2009-08-03T18:18:00.000-07:00

I wish I could take you back to this moment, help you do things a little diff.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx,
Nik

Lara Stone in W August 2009, Fashion's "It" Girl

2009-08-03T18:02:00.000-07:00

There's a Whole in my Neighborhood Down Which of Late I Can't Help But Fall

2009-08-03T17:57:00.001-07:00

State of Emergency - Vogue Italia September 2006

2009-08-03T17:23:00.000-07:00

I WANNA BE, I NEED TO BE BAD...

When You Finish With My Dating Tips...

2009-08-03T17:00:00.000-07:00

Your fishy will be singing this...

Tell me now, tell me true
Of all the things I did to you was this the one
That made you break
Did I make my last mistake
Only you can play the game
Rope-a-dope and lay the blame
Can’t you see, my body shake’
Cause I made my last mistake
(Bridge)
I was out of line before
But this is so much more I know
I don’t wanna be the king
Of every single living thing, just you
And you can be my queen, mama
Separate towns, separate hearts
Distant love from distant parts
Every man plays the snake
Bound to make his last mistake

Heartbroken, In Disrepair

2009-08-03T08:56:00.000-07:00

WHAT A CLOSER LOOKS LIKE

I've never been that way.... I've never been so heartbroken that I thought there was no way out. And this is why I'm often the person that my girlfriends call when their fishy (boy, man whatever semantics...) is misbehaving. I've been asked to compile my rules in one place. Why? Because I'm a closer (facebook me for the details). That's right I have a talent for sealing the deal. It's partly genetic (thanks Bebe) and part learned behavior.

Ladies (and fellas who want to act like they have some sense) PAY ATTENTION.

First and foremost.... Keep three fishys at a time. You can only sleep with one of them at a time, the one you sleep with is your main fishy, the other two are stragglers (and referred to to as such from here on out)... You only let the stragglers go when the main fishy has asked to be your man (and yes, he has to explicitly ask)

MY MAIN FISHY -- DAN AUERBACH

Why are they stragglers? Because they can only act right about 25% of the time, I'm gonna need YOU to do some basic math...

The main fishy is a good guy but isn't fully ready to get his life together... He's combative. But hey if he starts effing up and one of the stragglers is stepping up, you can definitely switch em out. But be forewarned the main fishy will kick up dust if he's worth anything at all.

Why may I only have 3 fishys? Because Hoe, it just gets too confusing when you have more than three. TRUST. You can only have so many designated sounds goin off on the blackberry. You're going to get confused, there's too many messages to respond to, someone is going to get the wrong one, you're going to get someone's details mixed up, and uhhh hello you'll run into another fishy for sure, it's just too much.

STRAGGLER #1 - ANDRE 3000

Why do I have to have designated sounds? When you're with one of them, you need to know who's contacting you without looking at the phone. And you need your beauty rest, all three of these fools should not be able to wake you up, only the main fishy. Don't start BBMing with all the fishys, only email or sms text for the stragglers, instant access is reserved for the main fishy (remember he's puttin in work... 50%). If you're using Outlook on the BB you can create a profile and know when he's emailing you, otherwise keep to sms text and you can create profiles for each fishy, with different indicators... If you need help programming your blackberry hit me up, I'm technically savvy.

STRAGGLER #2 - BENJAMIN BRATT

What if they all ask me out on Friday or Saturday night? They won't TRUST. The stragglers are gonna hang with their boys or some hoochie on a Friday or Saturday night. They'll hit you up for a late lunch on Saturday or Sunday, or some random night during the week... And that's totally fine, that's why they're stragglers... Use it to your advantage.

Example: You went out with the main fishy Saturday night, dinner, drinks, sex until about 5:00 am, left at 7:00 (I'll get to that in a second), you go home and sleep it off till about 2:00 (with your phone on quiet), when you wake up you see a message from a straggler. He wants to go to lunch, call him back. Tell him you'll only go to lunch if he goes to the gym with you for a bit of cardio first... He'll be amusing and will be able to smell the Belvedere fumes you're given off on the elliptical. Good for him. He needs to step it up and take you out on a Saturday night...
Why shouldn't I spend the whole day with the main fishy? The fishy acts right 50% of the time... He checks in pretty much everyday, you generally see him once a week, on a Friday or Saturday night, maybe one night during the week. He's puttin it down in the bedroom. BUT he's still kinda cryptic. Disappears on the weekends sometimes, you catch him in a lie every now and again, he has un-merited saucy ish to say... You catch my drift.

So no. If you guys go out Saturday night, high tail it out of there by 8:00 am MAX the next morning. No. I will not have breakfast and go run errands with you... Me being cute, kinda naughty, and pushing your basket in crowded ass Target is reserved for a fishy that can act right at least 75% of the time...

Does the Main Fishy get special treatment? Ya, he does... He gets half of a gold star, and he's sleeping with you, that's pretty damn special. But basically with the Main Fishy you're a peach, soft on the outside, but there's a vicious pit or core, so he better watch the way he's bitin in to you. Be sweet, but stand your ground.

How do I discipline these fishys, they're unruly as F**K? Give him the face pictured above and put em on ice. Don't argue it's dumb, say your piece and let it go. No one likes someone that constantly complains but doesn't do anything about the problem and it's not attractive to fuss constantly or not let things go.

So if a fishy says or does something you don't like, let him know what's up then put him on ice. By putting him on ice I mean respond to his messages with very little info, 1-4 words answers, don't let him know what's goin on in your world. He'll catch your drift and will get his act together quickly if he's worth anything... Expect him to take you to your favorite place and a hot make out session....

All right babes... I think that's enough for now. Next lesson? Watch this space it's going to be a good one... It's my definition of a good fishy (or at least good on paper)

Feel like makin love

2009-07-17T12:51:00.000-07:00

Bar Refaeli in GQ Italy, love the sunlight in these pictures... Have you ever been awakened to someone wanting to take pictures of you in the morning sunlight? It's the sweetest thing in the world... Just have to rise above your insecurities.

Tanya Dziahileva in Mixte 62, Beaute. I'm into hair updos as of late...

Can't wait for fall....

Natalia Vodianova
“Like A Painting” Ph: Paoli Roversi
Vogue Italia September 2006

Iekeliene Stange in Muse August 2009.

Eskuche headphones

They're only $60 bucks

I need this bathing suit...
Obsessed with Photos from Weegee's World

Love these new Kain Label side drape tanks, Kain can do no wrong.

I want to lie in this bed all day long....

Beach life...

Hide and seek?

What to do with preserved lemons....

MOTT THE HOOPLE -- Love my British rock bands...

Baby, when I think about you
I think about love
Darlin, dont live without you
And your love
If I had those golden dreams
Of my yesterdays
I would wrap you in the heaven
till Im dyin on the way

Feel like makin
Feel like makin love
Feel like makin love to you

Baby, if I think about you
I think about love
Darlin if I live without you
I live without love
If I had the sun and moon
I would give you both night and day
Of satisfyn

Feel like makin
Feel like makinlove
Feel like makin love to you

And if I had those golden dreams
Of my yesterdays
I would wrap you in the heaven
til Im dyin on the way

Feel like makin love
Feel like makin love
(repeat many times)
Feel like makin love to you

Tofu stuffed with Preserved Lemons and Green Olives, Couscous, Broiled Zucchini with Balsamic Vinegar

We (finally) made a batch of preserved lemons about a month ago, using the recipe in Claudia Roden's "The New Book of Middle Eastern Food," and used them for this meal.

Much like the technique used for the tofu l'orange, we vacuum-sealed the six tofu cutlets (with a slit cut in the middle for stuffing) with a mixture of the preserved lemon juice (which already has salt added) and pepper and refrigerated them for six hours.

They were pan-fried in canola oil until golden on both sides -- about 5-7 minutes on medium heat.) Then splashed with a tablespoon of tamari at the end of cooking and cooked for an additional 1-2 minutes per side.

Next they were stuffed with a mixture of chopped green olives, preserved lemons, garlic, salt and pepper and roasted in a 350F oven for 15 minutes.

The simple zucchini and balsamic idea came from watching Eric Ripert, subbing nutritional yeast for the parmesan and breaking out the 25-year-old balsamic. The couscous had currants and was molded using a small glass bowl.

via What The Hell Does A Vegan Eat Anyway?

I wonder what the view is like...

Bartlett House, Huntington Lake, Fresno
Architect: Beverly (David Thorne)
1962

Turn up the bass till your ears get sore........ Baby I Ain't Hiding

2009-07-08T20:00:00.000-07:00

I can't get enough of red lipstick/nails, expressing drama through neutral clothing, exposed corsets/strapless bras, waist cinchers, and voluptuous hair.

I've been busy scouring thrift stores for fur coats... Recycled fur is OKAY.

I think her friend is tellin her something juicy on the elevator... We all have those girlfriends that are such Divas, they don't put their ciggies out, "whatevs!" she says when I tell her the doorman is looking "finish telling me bout the boy" she barks, stuff falling all out of her Birkin...

I've been playing with my hair a lot these days... I have to wash it, let it air dry, then blast it with a blow dryer a bit, curl it in shirley temple curls all over, pin curl each curl to my head after curling it, sleep on it, then un-do it the next day, then let it just be free for a day, to achieve, something close to the below pic...

Mary Kate Olsen rocks neutrals the best.

I guess when you shop mostly at Maxfield's and Barney's it's not too hard...

She's given somebody a fierce side eye!!

I wish I would have been there!

I wish I could do that...

Love these pictures of a young Muhammad Ali.

I think it's okay to mix gold and silver... I've come to grips with it.

I'd love to have a modern game room, with these hanging, all the kitschy stuff of a game room; but, cool... All Blackman Cruz(d) out.
Daycation! Let's go to Glen Ivy Hot Springs...

Dior Couture Fall 2009... "I DIE"

La Sirene Du Mississippi, I love my 60's movies... Original Sin was based on this film.

Drop waist dresses are awesome.

Chandeliers are magical...

And so was Farrah Fawcett, Micahel Jackson, and Hunter S. Thompson. All magical in their own way.

There's nothing like a full moon over Los Angeles, more specifically the Hollywood Hills.

Oh and this Black Crowes song is stuck in my head.....

WONDERING WHAT ALL OF THE ABOVE STUFF TRANSLATED TO?

As much as I adore this vintage Valentino Camisole, a gift from my Grandmother's BFF (free stuff is the best stuff) it didn't make the cut

I love that it makes a bow across your boobs, they truly are a gift and should be carefully unwrapped.

I pulled out this Marc by Marc Jacobs bag from last summer, it was waiting on me to fill it with a few pieces to go to the boy's house with...

I decided now was a good a time as any to wear menswear, especially my newly acquired, $8.00 a piece American Apparel Shirt-dresses... I picked them up at the American Apparel Flea Market sale on 4th of July. Sorry they're so wrinkled; but, one is gray, the other pinstripe blue/white. And they have POCKETS, I love pockets :)

The gray looks undercover sexy with another hand me down underneath... A vintage nude colored Dior bodysuit. From my grandmother. Does anyone else think it's strange that my grandmother and her BFF are givin me lingerie?? I guess if I'm ever going to wear vintage lingerie it should certainly only come from those two, I know where it's been...

The pinstripe shirtdress I paired with a black Vera Wang bustier I scored at Loehmann's for $19.99 and Badgely Mischka bloomers off the clearance rack at Bloomingdale's...

I love the textures, and color combos...

If you're thinking, this shirtdress is going to be mighty short... Don't fret we'll only venture to the kitchen, and MAYBE the closest watering hole. Short is fine for that ;)

What to Wear to Summer Festivals

2009-07-08T18:42:00.000-07:00

Hot Hot Heat - Bandages

2009-07-08T18:35:00.000-07:00

Man... I remember the dumb a** boy I was dating when this song was hott, all over KROQ (yes I still listened to KROQ at that time) I totally remember cruising in my horrible Vanden Plas, blaring this song, singing all off-key. I feel so much older now.

Bandages on my legs and my arms from you
Bandages, bandages, bandages
Up and down on my legs my arms from you
Bandages, bandages, bandages

These bandages cover more than scrapes, cuts and bruises from regrets and mistakes
I've been hoping your moping around the street again
I've been tripping from sipping the dripping dirty water tap
I've been poking a voodoo doll that you do not know I made
These bandages are anonymity
I've been shaking from making an awful decision
I've been running and running
feels like my head is spinning round and round, around, around, around, around, around

Bandages on my legs and my arms from you
Bandages, bandages, bandages
Up and down on my legs and my arms from you
Bandages, bandages, bandages

I've been hoping your moping around the street again
I've been tripping from sipping the dripping dirty water tap
I've been poking a voodoo doll that you do not know I made
For you, of you, let's see what needles do
I've been shaking from making an awful decision
I've been thinking I'm drinking too many drinks all by myself
I've been running and running
Feels like my head is spinning round and round, around, around, around, around, around

Bandages on my legs and my arms from you
Bandages, bandages, bandages
Up and down on my legs and my arms from you
Bandages, bandages, bandages
Bandages on my legs and my arms from you
Bandages, bandages, bandages
Bandages, bandages, bandages

Don't worry now, don't worry now, don’t worry cause it's all under control
Don't worry now, don't worry now, don’t worry cause it's all under control
Don't worry now, don't worry now, don’t worry cause it's all under control
Don't worry now, don't worry now, don’t worry cause it's all under control
Don't worry now, don't worry now, don’t worry cause it will all turn around,
around, around, around, around, around, around, around

Bandages on my legs and my arms from you
Bandages, bandages, bandages
Up and down on my legs and my arms from you
Bandages, bandages, bandages
Bandages on my legs and my arms from you
Bandages, bandages, bandages
Up and down on my legs and my arms from you
Bandages, bandages, bandages
Bandages, bandages, bandages
Bandages, bandages, bandages

RIP MJ

2009-07-07T21:02:00.001-07:00

Abbey Lee Kershaw in Vogue Nippon

2009-07-07T19:03:00.000-07:00

Benefits of Riding a Bicycle

2009-07-07T15:01:00.001-07:00

I already knew these things... thought I'd share.

Welcome to the Bike Show...

2009-07-06T19:50:00.001-07:00

Love the fros...

A Passive Aggressive Note from Chanel

2009-07-06T19:40:00.000-07:00

Eugenia Gonzalez Ruiz-Olloqui

2009-07-06T19:37:00.000-07:00

Love her, love the shooooessssssss!

Oh Dear Fall...

2009-07-06T19:31:00.000-07:00

Please come early, I miss you, we need to spend some extra time together this year... xoxxxxxxx
Nik

Sex and Reruns...

2009-07-06T18:50:00.000-07:00

the princess of the east / painting by enzie shahmiri

Sex and Reruns - Matt Duke

Do you shake through the night
Tucked under the covers tight-ly
There's monsters in the shadows and zombies in the street lights

And the sounds from the street
Like some terrible CACOPHONY
It cuts through the walls of your bedroom and haunts your dreams

But don't you cry
I'll sing you a lullaby
But by and by its wasted time
Take a spoonfull to settle your mind
And I wish you goodnight

Dark hour all your demons with white noise pills and jesus
And when i get down i just turn off the lights
I find friends and lovers, some online sex and reruns
And when i get down i just turn off the light the light the lights

When you're lost and confused
But you're too proud to face the truth
Spend up all your money on a band-aide to cover the wound

When you suck at life
But you're much too scared to die
Embrace the sweet indifference with your brothers and we'll march in time time time

But why so stressed
Do you feel like the world's a mess
Well grab what you can from the medicine chest and all your worst fears supress
And just turn off the lights

Dark hour all your demons with white noise pills and jesus
And when i get down i just turn off the lights
I find friends and lovers, some online sex and reruns
And when i get down i just turn off the light the light the lights

Dark hour all your demons with white noise pills and jesus
And when i get down i just turn off the lights
I make friends and lovers some online sex and reruns
And when i get down i just turn off the light the light the lights
Turn off the light the light the light

Bianca Balti in Elle Italy March 2009

2009-07-06T17:41:00.000-07:00

Love the texture of this editorial...

And I don't like what you got hanging from....

2009-07-06T17:22:00.000-07:00

Soundgarden - Pretty Noose

I caught the moon today
Pick it up
And throw it away all right

I got the perfect steal
A cleaner love
With a dirty feel all right
Fallout and take the bait
Eat the fruit
And kiss the snake goodnight

Common ruse dirty face
Pretty noose is pretty hate
And I dont like
What you got me hanging from
Let your motor race
Pick it up
And get this mother gone
Out from and far away
The wooden stake
This thing has got me on
Diamond rope silver chain
Pretty noose is pretty pain

And I dont like
What you got me hanging from
I dont care what you got
I dont care what you need
I dont want anything
And I dont like what
You got me hanging from

various - vogue italy march 2009
from -
Hanne Gaby Odiele, Kinga Rajzak, Amanda Laine, Kasia Struss
“We are the Slaves of the Objects Around Us” Ph: Steven Meisel
Vogue Italy March 2009

Locals Night -- Patina Restauraunt Group

2009-07-06T15:07:00.000-07:00

I'm soooo there, $5.00 appetizers, drink specials and a DJ, all from Patina Restaurants, so on it, like white on rice. Check it out.

Michael Jackson and Bubbles

2009-07-06T14:58:00.001-07:00

Jeff Koons, Michael Jackson and Bubbles, 1988, The Broad Art Foundation, Santa Monica

Fall 2009 Fashion Trends

2009-07-05T23:33:00.000-07:00

I can barely wait for the folk, hippy, unrealistic and unusual color matches, the textures...